Since I have all the time I want, I can continue blogging again. Ive been caring less about things lately, and have been worrying about my exams more than I bother revising. Haha. Its like, praying to God to get rich rather than working it by myself. That kinda thing. Sometimes, I really don’t understand. Do we get together with someone that you cant really get along with in the sense of uncomfortable conversations? OR we can actually overlook all these and get along with it? well, Ill try..

Im so afraid my bad habits will come back once again to me. The smoking, the drink till fucking drunk, the lack of self control. Ive been good during spm and that’s really rare. I know myself, I know I cant control myself from all these. Once I leave the house too often, once I get all the freedom I want, im out to do all sort of crazy stuff and it’s really out of control. Sometimes, I really wish I could just stay in front of my com 24-7. Then I wont be out doing all sort of rubbish. Ive been so bad that my parents hated me so much. They smell cigarette smoke everyday and they knew it was me. In fact, im not afraid to smoke at home. And I know my mum is secretly crying out of disappointment. Sigh, what have I done?  I stopped but Im just worried, worried that ill go back to that path again. I know it’s the wrong path, but im still going for it. I have no idea why. And I know clearly enough that I have asthma and I would die anytime if I continue smoking. Blogging about this makes me think of smoking again. Damn!

dont worry, it's been a month since i last smoked (: